Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Humor Application Letter

Dear Sir or Madam,

"I am sure you have looked through several resumes with the same information about work experience, education and references. I am not going to give you any of that stuff.”

“I would love to interview for the position of (insert the job title here). If you grant me an interview for (insert the job title here), I feel confident you’ll see why I’m the right person for the job.” “My mother delivered me without anaesthesia so I have an IQ 146 and can therefore learn anything and everything.”

“I enjoy working closely with customers, and my pleasant demeanour helps them feel comfortable and relaxed – not afraid.” “I realise that my total lack of experience may concern those considering me for employment.” But “I have integrity, so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”

“Please don’t regard my 14 positions as job hopping. I never once quit a job.” “They stopped paying me.” (he he he) “In my next life, I will be a professional backup dancer or singer,” but for now, “I am attacking my resume for you to review.” “I realise that my resume is no longer exemplary thanks to my family destroying the computer file and its life.” Nevertheless, “here are my qualifications for you to overlook.”

“Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you Shorty!”       

Hapless Job Seekers


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